4 Steps to Heal Perfectionism and Take Your Power Back
- Heidi Lappe
- Mar 19
- 3 min read
From a recovering perfectionist and coach
Do you feel trapped by the need to be perfect? Perfectionism isn't just high standards—it's harsh self-judgment. It often comes from childhood beliefs that make us feel "never good enough," driving us to seek constant external approval. This can lead to anxiety, burnout, and even health issues. You deserve better!
Download the full guide + some freebies here.
Here are a few behaviors that can help you identify if you are acting out of the "never good enough" wound that may be perfectionism.
Taking on excessive workloads.
Neglecting personal priorities.
Setting unrealistic standards for yourself.
Avoiding new challenges due to fear of not being perfect.
Experiencing a constant inner critic.
Lacking values or purpose that are your own.
Take your power back with these four steps:
#1 Cultivate Radical Self-Compassion
Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a dear friend.
Perfectionism thrives on self-criticism. Self-compassion interrupts this cycle, fostering resilience and emotional well-being.
How to do it:
Acknowledge your imperfections as a normal part of the human experience.
Speak to yourself with gentle, encouraging words.
Practice mindfulness to observe your thoughts without judgment.
In the downloadable, there are ways to track your thoughts and reframe them. Treat this like a science experiment to get to know yourself! The mindset of removing judgment and inserting joy immediately tells your brain to treat this like a gift. Your brain believes what you tell it, and the longer you tell it what it craves to hear, the more you become it.
#2 Prioritize Progress Over Perfection
Shift your focus from achieving flawless outcomes to celebrating incremental improvements. Perfectionism creates a paralyzing fear of failure. Progress-oriented thinking fosters a growth mindset and empowers you to take action.
How to do it:
Set realistic, achievable goals. Use the worksheet in the downloadable to help you.
Break down larger tasks into smaller, manageable steps.
Acknowledge and celebrate every step forward, no matter how small. If you have trouble with this, this is an area to double-down on and change your habits.
You are perfectly, imperfect and that is beautiful!
#3 Mindful Self-Reflection
Becoming aware of negative thoughts and consciously changing them to be more positive and realistic. This breaks the cycle of self-criticism, reduces stress, and builds emotional resilience.
How to do it:
Observe your thoughts without judgment.
Question the validity of negative thoughts.
Replace them with positive, realistic affirmations.
Journal to identify patterns. Use the worksheet in the downloadable to help you track.
#4 Reclaim Your Values and Boundaries
Identify your core values and establish clear boundaries to protect your time, energy, and well-being. Perfectionism often leads to neglecting personal needs and values in pursuit of external validation. Reclaiming your power means living in alignment with your authentic self.
How to do it:
Reflect on what truly matters to you. Use the worksheet to help you determine your priorities.
Learn to say "no" to commitments that drain your energy or violate your boundaries.
Prioritize self-care and activities that nourish your soul.
Conclusion
Change requires new habits. Consistency is key; maintain these habits even without immediate results.
Instead of overhauling your life, implement micro-habits for at least 30 days, then evaluate and adjust as needed. Resist the temptation to revert to old patterns after 30 days. Use the provided tools in the downloadable for motivation and reach out for support if needed.
Happy Healing!
DISCLAIMER: This guidance is not a diagnosis and those who are experiencing physical health and/or mental health symptoms should always contact those medical professionals. Health coaching is a service to supplement and should be used in conjunction when needed. The benefit of coaching is to help give you the support and accountability you need, not replace those professionals. Any concerns should be reviewed with your medical provider before putting this into place.
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